It's been so long . . .

but I've got some random thoughts to share.

This pregnancy is beginning to wind down and I guess I'm sad. Being pregnant makes me extremely emotional as it is but knowing that this is it makes me more so. I do love being pregnant despite the exhaustion, the perpetual cold(it started in October and never left), oh and then there's the whole leaking pee thing. Yeah that's not fun but I'll still miss it when it's over. I finally had a dream the other night about this baby. In my dream the baby was a boy and of course we named him Liam as we have already planned. I used to believe these dreams whole-heartedly. They were right for Matthew and Amelia. But Gillian broke the whole trend. She was 'supposed' to be a boy. My dream had said so. I was convinced. So I'm not banking on the whole boy thing. We still have not agreed on a girl name but I will not be caught off guard like we were with Gillian. I just thank God now that I've come to love Gillian's name as much as I do now. At the time I was not sure about it at all.

I am scheduled to work for three more weeks(exactly 14 more days). That's 7 more kindie days. I really kinda dread those days now because they take the most out of me. Teaching 20 four and five year olds all day(some with severe behavioural issues) just drains me. I'm thinking I may need to take a couple more mental/physical health days before I go on mat. leave.

I washed some baby clothes yesterday and that's the most I've done to get ready for this baby. I definitely hope I will be more prepared than I was with Gillian. She was almost 4 weeks early. Totally threw us for a loop. Todd still has to get all the car seats arranged and in place. Mia is moving to the back with Matthew and the new baby will take her place but the van is a mess and it's been too cold to give it a good cleaning. Don't want to put a new little baby in that crazy mess!

So that's the latest pretty much. My life is never too dramatic and that's probably a good thing. Todd got a new job within his police service that will put him closer to home which is great especially with my quick labours. He currently works almost two hours away from home. Not good if I go into labour. His transfer is supposed to be in May but because of the situation it may be pushed to early March. I REALLY hope it is. If not I'm going to have to be extra cautious and pay a lot more attention to any ctxs. With G, we arrived at the hospital at 7 am and had her at 8:27 am. Can't afford to cut it that close with this one.

So no trip for me . . .

Isn't she cute?? Yeah well . . .

It's just not going to work. I left Gillian with Todd just for an hour at home while I took Mia with me to the store. She went NUTS! AND she was at home AND she was with her daddy! It doesn't get any better than that. So yeah we are not going to be leaving her with a complete stranger(to her). Gramma will likely go crazy and I don't want to be responsible for that! lol

Gillian is also coming down with a cold too so that doesn't help her. She was totally miserable yesterday too. Crying for little to no reason ie. wrong cup, tripping, dropping her snack - stuff that normally doesn't bother her. We should have known to stay home but silly me thought, Maybe if we go out she'll be happier!!! Works sometimes. But not this time. She just screamed her head off in the van nearly the whole time. Even Mia who isn't fazed by her noise was asking why she was crying so much and telling her to stop crying. We sang, tried snacks, drinks, books and again the usual stuff that entertains her was just not doing it's thing.

Todd made the unfortunate mistake of going an hour and a half away for a picnic. Once we got there we had to stuff our faces really fast as the wind was picking up and a storm was coming in! Wow it got cold fast. However once Gillian was out of the van and outside she was great. Very happy. She LOVES the great outdoors. Even when she was a baby and we couldn't settle down her crying . . . going outside always worked. She'd shut off like a lightswitch.

We had to race back to the van to load everything up. Before we left we popped into a cute little candy store. Gillian was doing great! Then we buckled her in and went on our way. Of course that is when the crying resumed and yup, it lasted for pretty much the entire ride back. We stopped once so I could do a check(maybe she pooped? nope) and then it started again as I was buckling her in.

So after much discussion(well maybe not MUCH because we are on the same page here) I'm going to stay home with the kids and Todd's going up to Ottawa with his friend. Oh no no no! I am very happy with this outcome!! I could have brought the kids up to the ils like we were going to and then stay there but why would I want to put myself through that?? Their place is not babyproofed, Gillian will likely be off even with me there, I won't sleep well because I'm weird like that(I have the worst time sleeping places other than at home in my bed which btw, is getting better so why turn around and make it worse?). I'm happy. We will go out and have fun so don't worry about us!

*yawn*

Oh I'm so tired. I know, a pregnant woman tired? How cliche! I don't think it's as much physiological but mental like "Holy crap! We are going to have FOUR kids!!" I'm tired but as soon as I go to bed I'm wide awake. Then I lay there for hours. I think about how I'm going to manage the kindergarten class this year without a prep all day. I opted instead for a double prep on my non-kindie days . . . now I'm not so sure that was wise. I'm super worried about telling people. I don't want to see the looks or hear the comments. I'm wondering how long I can go before having to tell people because my belly is just making it too obvious. We haven't told anyone - not even the kids. They would just end up telling everyone and I don't want that either.

Oh yeah and just to update how I told Todd. I got a bouquet of pink and blue balloons with a mylar balloon on the top that said new baby. Then I attached the positive hpt to it. I told Todd I had something to show him. He loved the balloons but didn't quite get the significance . . . he read "New Baby" as "Now Baby". Silly guy! Once he figured it out he was very happy and of course in shock just like me. I think he liked the way I shared the news.

Todd wants to go away to Ottawa this weekend. He says his mom will take the take the kids and I know Matt and Mia will be fine but Gilliebean . . . well she's a challenge on most days. She's super needy. Some days she needs to be held constantly. Sometimes I'll cry her out so I can get stuff done. Other days I'll just sit and hold her and hold her and hold her. I don't want Todd's mom to have to deal with that. It's so frustrating. So I'm on the fence about what to do . . . on the one hand I would love a mini-vacation just with Todd but on the other I'm just worried Todd's mom won't be able to handle G-bean. I think I'll gve her a call tonight and talk it over with her just to make sure she knows what she is getting herself into.

Sooooooo how should I tell him??

Yup a big FAT positive. No doubts about that sucker. Todd has NO IDEA. None. Not a clue. I've dropped no hints. I've not said a word. With the exception of Matthew(yeah he was a BIG exception) the others were planned. We always figured that eventually that bfp would come, it was just a matter of when.

Todd worked all day so he was not privy to my poas adventure. He is home now and I still haven't said anything. Bad huh? Just trying to find my words. This most certainly will be the last. We are not going to be leaving anything else to chance again. Four is my limit . . . well I was starting to think three was my limit but I guess not.

I'm still in shock. That might be part of why I haven't said anything yet. I mean, we had sex maybe one time and unless I'm way off it wasn't close to ovulation at all. All those months and months we tried and tried for Mia and Gillian and then boom this happens. This will be my THIRD April baby. What is up with that??? It must be something about the summer where I am more relaxed than during the school year. It is definitely my fertile time. lol I don't think I can afford all these April birthdays.

I think I'm going to sit on this new found knowledge just for a day or two and think of a special way to share this last special surprise.

An apology . . .

To all my faithful blog readers!!

Please don't abandon me!

I just can't get my act together lately . . . I miss posting. I miss reading all of YOUR posts. I miss commenting on them. I just can't do it. I'm tired . . . no more than that. EXHAUSTED.

Moving day is January 25. I am working on packing but not much happens during the week. The evenings are too busy and I am just too tired. But next week there are no excuses . . . it HAS to be done.

The house is looking FABULOUS!!!! That is at least something I can be excited about.

I will definitely be updating with pics when I can finally get a chance to just BE.

Thanks for checking in on me(Amy)!

Take down!

Bye ornaments!!!


Matthew's special ornament from Gramma

Bye tree!

So here we are in 2008! My how time flies . . . sometimes I wish it would move faster and then I get sad that it seems to be moving too fast. I'm never happy, huh?

The coming of the new year also means the take down of all things Christmas.

I love Christmas. By November I'm counting down the days until the tree can go up and all the Christmas trimmings can come out and play! But once boxing day is over I'm ready to move on but I force myself to keep the tree up until January 1st.

The kids had almost as good a time taking the tree down as they did putting it up! I think they are ready to move on too. We got many new ornaments this year. I will be delighted to see them again next Christmas I'm sure! hehehe With my memory how it is I'm sure I'll have forgotten about many of them.

This is a special one from a special friend . . . thank you Ellie!!! I love it!

It's New Year's Eve

and here I sit cradling my youngest who refuses to go to sleep and my oldest is sitting with his father watching him play a video game. My middle daughter has long since gone to bed. Ahhhh the life of a mother.

I haven't done anything for NYE since 1999. Yup, the big one. The one everyone was worried about. The one that was supposed to ring in the end of the world. The one many people were preparing like crazy for. The end of life as we knew it.

I was at a house party with some teacher friends. I was a bit tipsy but not THAT bad. I watched with baded breath as a nearby TV monitored the progress of "The Ball" and then raised my glass as it reached 0 ready to call out "Happy New Year!!!". But in that instant the lights went out and the words died on my lips. My heart pounded and I thought it was over. Everything. Over. Then my WONDERFUL friend put the lights back on that he shut off and laughed extremely hard at my expense. I can be so gullible. *sigh*

In those 8 years I went from a carefree young woman to a wife and middle-aged mother of three. Where did the time go??

So now I'm off to try and put my littlest angel to bed, chase the oldest to his bed and cuddle up to my husband and watch Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. I probably won't see that ball drop. I actually haven't seen it since that big millenium drop. I honestly don't care. Life will go on for us. Iam good with that too. :)

Happy New Year to all my bloggy friends!!