The plan

Okay pretty soon this is just going to be a blog about Matthew and his behaviour but unfortunately I have more to add to that unpleasant subject.

When I got home from school on Tuesday there was a message from Matthew's teacher on the answering machine. She said there had been another incident at school but she didn't say what and that she would call me back tomorrow. So obviously I turned to Matthew(who had assured me only a short time ago that it had been a good day) what had happened. His first reaction is to deny that anything beyond the norm had occured. Seeing that I couldn't get him to budge, I sent him to his room to stew a bit.

A few minutes later I went to talk to him again and basically told him I was going to find out anyway and it would just be better to find out from him than from his teacher. So he spilled his guts. During art, Matthew cut a girl's hair. Oh now, isn't that lovely?!?! Okay I'll be real . . . I was actually kinda relieved. I know it's still not a good thing but my mind was racing with worse things and hair cutting in grade one? Well that is actually very common. The parents of this little girl could have been very upset too so that can drive the response of the teacher to the situation.

Todd thought it was ridiculous that Matt's teacher even called to tell us. I don't see it that way. I mean, I DID tell her to let me know about any incidents and this compounded with everything else, does deserve a phone call home.

I talked with Matthew about what happened and had him stay in his room until supper and then let him out for the rest of the evening. I think he got the point. When I called the teacher back the next day she confirmed what Matthew had already told me. She again talked about his fidgeting and impulsiveness. She also mentioned the counselling again too.

I think I'm being set up. I know how it works. Heck, I've even been the one to ease the discussion in that direction. To plant the seed. Honestly and this isn't me being a mama bear but I just don't see Matthew as having ADHD. Yes he has impulse control issues and he is a busy guy but I have seen him control it. Kids with ADHD can't control their behaviour for the life of them. They can really REALLY want to but they can't. It's physiological.

I spoke with the principal as well and he stressed that he really wants us to work together on this. Well I'm totally for that! I want to know their plans. What are their next steps? I asked to speak the Special Education teacher and still have not heard from her. I want a baseline. I'm openminded. I really don't know what Matthew is like at school when I am not there. I want someone to observe his behaviours for a period of time and tell me how often he was off-task, how often he was fidgeting. Give me something data to work with and we'll go from there.

Looking for another opinion I asked my principal what her thoughts were being that she has a lot of experience working with kids. She totally didn't see where they were coming from to suggest counselling. She believes counselling is more in line for kids with deep anger issues which have usually stemmed from some kind of traumatic experience. Matthew comes from a stable home. He was never seen or experienced any violence or abuse. Matthew is impulsive but he's not angry. I'd have to agree that counselling is not the way to go. Oh and I felt so much better to hear from Liz that nothing I told her about what Matthew has done is shocking or beyond the realm of typical 6 yo behaviour. Phew!

I'm sorry this is so longwinded. I'm really just typing this all out for my benefit. I'm going to continue to persue a discussion with the special education teacher(perhaps she's afraid to call? hehehe) and hopefully we can develop a plan to support Matthew both at home and at school.