Seriously, I'm at my wit's end with Matthew!
I have gotten not one but TWO phone calls from Matthew's teacher this week. Oh and the first was a real treat because she thinks we need to look into counselling through OCYC. I don't know what to think. I'm just sad and embarrassed. It seems like I have to be so explicit with Matthew like, "It is not appropriate to tell other kids to pee on the teacher!" OMG! My face is burning up just typing that! Yes that is what he did. Where did that come from??? I really don't know. So I talked to him about it and how that is just not right. He was being a goofball I'm sure and not really meaning for the kid to do it but still??? How many moms have to say to here 6 yos, "Now don't tell other kids to pee on people"?!?! Not many I'm sure.
Okay now fast forward to today and I'm about to head out to my next class when I'm called to the phone. It's Matthew's teacher. Apparently Matthew ditched an incident sheet yesterday on his way to the bus line. It was picked up and put in his backpack but somehow made it's way to the floor of the bus. The bus driver passed it off to the teacher on duty who gave it to Matt's teacher and she then called me. Thaaaaaaat's just great. Oh and the incident in question? Fighting. Yeah so now I'm pissed off and I have to go and teach. That's really hard to do but I manage. Thankfully there was a fall dance on in the afternoon so not too stressful.
I told Todd what happened and he's totally takes Matthew's side. He thinks he was likely just protecting himself which is okay. Ummmmmmm NO!!!!! Not okay to fight at school AT ALL! So yeah here's where we are conflicting. But you have to understand. Todd was EXACTLY like Matthew as a kid. He was a total scrapper and he views Matthew's actions in a different light than I do. Whereas I see it from a teacher viewpoint where fighting is never okay. If he felt the need to defend himself he should have went to a teacher first instead.
So I picked Todd up after school and we went to get Matthew and talk to his teacher. The incident involved a grade three student and Matthew was the one to initiate the conflict. He wanted to play 4 square and the line was very long and he got tired of waiting. It gets a bit fuzzy but at some point he decided it was a good idea to start fighting this boy. Todd thinks there is more to this story but I think the bottom line is: MATTHEW STARTED IT!!! It was not self-defence in my opinion. Still Todd doesn't see it that way and we are at an impass. *sigh*
I guess I should be calling that social worker on Monday. :(
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3 comments:
The first time this year Nathan got in trouble for not listening to the teacher, I told him "Nathan your most important job at school is LISTENING to the teacher." And he said, "Oh....NOW you tell me. Geez." Like it was my fault I hadn't specifically said that before. LOL. What I'm saying is, I have to be pretty direct with him, too.
One of our rules is "Potty talk is only for in the bathroom". Well, last week I was helping him brush his teeth and he was being totally goofy and said something like "I'm gonna pee all over you." or something totally off the wall and out of line and I said, "Nathan, we don't speak like that." and he said, "But its potty talk and we're in the bathroom!" OMG! So I had to be even MORE specific.
I think some of it is a boy thing, but I totally agree with you all the way. Last year Nathan jumped a kid at pick up time (when all the teachers and principal were in sight) because the kid was pretending to be SharkBoy, but he didn't have spiky hair. BOYS! That isn't to say we don't take it seriously when it happens, we really, really do. We're pretty strict with him. But the things boys think of are just mind boggling to me!
And that ends the world's longest comment ever. LOL.
I'm telling you Junie, our eldest boys could be twins...do the counseling, if nothing else it re-enforces the idea of open communication.
Stay consistent, and keep doing what you're doing, only time will get him through this phase.
(((hugs))
Oh man Junie. I can totally see why you are upset. Obviously I have never dealt with this just yet but I can only imagine what will be instore in my future with 2 daughters. That thought just scares me. LOL!
I sure hope this phase passes very soon!!!
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